I probably ask myself, does it count, at least
one thousand four times a day! Please tell me I’m not alone here! While I adore the internet, pinterest, self improvement and all things that make us “better.” I sometimes abhor them simultaneously and that is because I suffer from major information overload and perfectionism. Does it count as good exercise if it’s not the newest and hippest workout? Is it a “good” run if it’s only 2.5 miles and not at least 3? What about if I walk some of the run as a run? Is it technically spending time with my kids if I’m actually cuddling with them while they watch tv and I read a book? Does it count if I’m on the phone? Does it count as a meal if it’s just snacks, even though they’re healthy?
This question is starting to haunt me.
I’m setting up this crazy judgement scale in my mind that really doesn’t have concrete answers. Most importantly I’m looking for external okays to these answers. I am looking for others’ approval and to be honest that will never satisfy me. The true question is whether or not it’s “counting” for me. Only I know the real answer to that. The sad part is I set such rigid expectations sometimes that nothing “counts” and at the end of the day all that I’ve done feels just slightly not good enough.
And that, my friends, is the definition of suck.
That totally sucks.
Mindfulness can help.
So I’m getting really mindful and reflective and I’m gonna tell myself that question isn’t allowed for now. It’s not serving me, it’s not making me better. It’s just making me tired, guilty, and stressed. So no more.
Everytime I find myself checking in with myself or others about if it counts I’m going to redirect by saying this. You are doing it. Your are doing it the best you can right now. And that my friends is MORE THAN ENOUGH. Okay works. Okay is often just what you need.
Love ya mean it.