Enough starts in the morning.
It’s early in the morning as I sit here at my computer. Believe it or not I am rushing. I already feel like there won’t be enough time. I’m rushing to finish my breakfast, to write this blog post, and to see how many things I can squeeze into my unknown number of minutes before I hear the call from the little one upstairs. It’s generally a short, loud, intense, Mom or Dad.
Quiet time is not common here in this house. Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining I am aware of the gift of the noise. I truly am. These moments though have come to be the time where I feel like I will jam it all in to somehow get ahead, to prepare, to put myself in a good spot for when the chaos of my day begins.
The thing I’m learning is no matter what time my little one awakens for his day, there will still be more I could’ve accomplished. It seems as if the time I have is never enough.
I’m seeing this as a theme in my life.
I’ve been trying to make some healthy changes. I’m not the poster child for bad habits but I’m not on the good habit poster, either. Sometimes I get an idea in my head of something I want to do, say eat less sugar or drink less wine, and then I come up with ways to make this hope a reality. Then I head down this slippery slope and think of all of the other people who do it better than me, for longer, with more gusto. I think of those who never eat french fries and I begin to feel like it will NEVER be enough. I actually wrote about this idea in relation to kids’ birthday parties. Enough is in fact enough.
I was out for a run the other day. I’m training for a 10k (and believe it or not as far as race distances go, I think 10k is just enough 😉 .) I realized that I was running I was thinking about being “under-“trained for this race. Summer has been nutty between Chris’ travel schedule and my lack of babysitting help it’s not been easy to run. Oh and also the heat. Yuck. I realized that I’ll never feel like I trained enough. If I run 4 miles I will think I should have ran 5. Partly this may just be an old habit, a way of thinking. Perhaps it can be changed? I’m not quite sure yet, though I will keep you posted.
One more thing.
See even this post wasn’t enough! I had to add one more thing, it’s the most important. When I really think about it. When I close my eyes and connect with my truest self and with God, I know this to be true. We have always been enough. This doesn’t mean we cannot grow or change or do amazing things it just means that even with all of our shortcomings we’re already enough, more than enough. I am sure of it. And on the days I’m not sure I can believe it about myself I look around at all of the people I love. I think about the love I have for them and the fact that each one of them is so much more than enough. Then I tell myself, see you cannot be that special, you too must me more than enough 😉
Don’t forget it.
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