Joy can seem far away. This morning was not my best morning. If I’m honest it was probably in my top 3 most awful parenting/being a nice person moments. I completely lost my shit. To be honest, I’m super embarrassed and if any of you could’ve seen me. You would’ve been to. I’m sharing this because even though it could’ve been worse, even though my kids don’t seem to care when I scream and lose my mind (that makes it WAY WORSE for me,) it happens to the best of us.
Then I finally escaped the children (thank God for working on Fridays.) I sat at my computer to write a post about joy. I saw the news. I thought of some friends who are suffering. I thought of people all over the world who look for peace and cannot find it. And I wanted to weep. But instead I searched through my brain, and through scripture, I searched for the right words. The words that would make it better.
I love words. I always have. I may not always speak or write as eloquently as some, but the power of words has never escaped me and rarely am I left speechless. But today that is how I feel. The thing about joy that I’m learning is that even if in the current moment things seem so dark and so desperate the joy that we’ve known, the joy that we will know again as God promises it, that joy can see us through.
So while today’s post seems somewhat somber. I think I needed to write it, life isn’t easy, in fact sometimes life is downright awful and painful and it sucks. I hate that part. I hate watching people I love suffer. I hate seeing people on the news hungry, lonely, afraid, unsafe. And somedays I just want to turn it off and hide alone in my own corner of the world. And other days I cannot stop watching, praying, hoping for the joy of all people to come quickly.
My prayer for each of us today is to find joy.
Whether you’re just home losing your shit on your kids because the week has been too long, or you’re experiencing deep grief. My prayer is that God can speak to you in your heart and be with you in this time. When I searched for the words of joy in scripture and in some of my favorite writers, I couldn’t find the comfort for which I was yearning. But when I closed my eyes and I asked God to be with me and to be with all who are in need. Then I felt that twinge in my heart, that knowledge, that love, that could only be God’s. Joy comes. It always comes, pain does too, but joy somehow seems to win.
Here’s praying that we all find the joy we seek today!
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