I often look at my view and think of the many ways I could change it. The hundreds (or sometimes thousands) of things that I should add to my do list. All of the things I need to move, change, improve, etc. It’s like that post that went viral recently. The one where the husband asks his wife to draw/write out what’s on her mind?!!?! Holy Accuracy. It’s literally my mind- All. The. Time. If you haven’t seen it go check it out.
My point is my view is filled with so much. And I choose how I see it. I took this picture while I was lying on my couch somewhat down and out with a cold. My youngest was SCREAMING to me from his crib while he was refusing to nap, my oldest was sitting next to me watching television. I chose to post it because it’s not really the picture that tells the story but more what I see when I see the view…that’s what tells the real story.
I thought it would be cool to think about my view in three ways.
#1. The real view.
This is just about the facts. It’s the actual situation, what exists in my line of vision at any given moment.
- Outside/Inside: In this picture you can see my dining room, part of my living room (where I’m sitting) and the outside. It’s the main part of my downstairs and what you cannot tell in the picture is that there is a really pretty flurry of snow falling outside.
- Workout pants: I’m wearing workout pants. They’re cute and comfy and I purchased them at Nordstrom Rack while I was in RI over Christmas.
- The backpack: That’s John’s backpack from school. He goes 2 mornings a week. Today was a school day for the boys.
- The decor on the radiator cover: It’s new – well the lamps are and it’s supposed to be on my mantle in my living room but is temporarily here so that we can paint the living room.
# 2. What I see
- Outside/Inside: On this particular day I’m tired of winter, and while I like the snows pretty qualities I wonder when it will be warm enough to take the kids to the park again and stop getting colds every few weeks. I’m tired and wondering why it can feel so lonely inside even when I have my kids with me.
- Workout pants: I love these pants but I love them even more when I’ve actually worked out in them. I’m sucking at working out lately. It makes me feel so good when I do it why then do I struggle so often with it. Why do I wear workout clothes when I’m not working out? Does that make me a loser? Oh no.
- The backpack: I cannot believe I didn’t put away the kids stuff when we got home. I need to get more diapers to put in there to send to school with John. The diapers are way in the back of the closet in the basement oh that basement closet makes me crazy. There’s just not enough space in there it’s so hard to get to do everything. I hate this cold I have it makes me feel lazy and I don’t have time to be lazy.
- The decor on the radiator cover. Are we ever going to paint the living room. John’s birthday party is this week. It’s just friends and I feel like that wasn’t a good idea, also a lot of people cannot come. That’s probably good but I’m sort of bummed. I cannot believe the living room still looks like this. I probably shouldn’t have bought those lamps either. I really need to figure out a way to get out of this annoying financial situation.
#3. How I could choose to see it.
- Outside/Inside: This house is such a blessing, there are many great things and many great memories and how I love watching the snow. It’s such a time of peace and gratitude.
- Workout pants: I would like to get really interested in why I don’t work out more when I know that how I feel after is my best self. What can I do to honor that and care for myself. I think often I need to ask more quesitons when I’m wondering or distressed by something. (such as why I’m wearing workout pants but not working out….) I guess it could just be that I enjoy that. But I wanted to delve deeper and think about it differently.
- The backpack: I think many things when I see that backpack on my table and most of them are just funny/nutty. I will say that I remember when Vincent got that backpack and I would bring his daycare things in it to school I remember the stress of those days and am grateful for the difference in my days now, don’t get me wrong there are still stresses but they are different and somehow seem more worth it.
- The decor on the radiator cover.: I’m so glad the bathroom remodel is over, I am obsessed with my bathroom and I’m really looking forward to putting everything back in it’s space downstairs when the walls are painted!
This was a super interesting process for me, I learned a ton. What I learned most of all was that I make all sorts of judgements all day depending on my view – what is right in my line of vision. What this means for me is that it’s my job to focus on what matters since it dictates a lot of my days. I also realize that my first reaction to my view isn’t always the most true, honest, or thoughtful and often I need to dig deeper and think differently.
What’s your view today and how are you choosing to see it?