This month I tried to really keep it simple.
December is overwhelming. My calendar is full. My expectations are high (though I’m working on that) and with all of that comes increased stress levels. This month when I sat down rather than thinking about items or things I wanted accomplished I thought about feelings. What matters? How do I want to feel when the clock strikes midnight on 2015? Well that one is easy, I want to be sleeping, I’m old.
But really how do I want to feel…
So I got this fab printout and sat down at my fave coffee shop and closed my eyes and I started to imagine if it was New Year’s Eve and I felt like I’d totally rocked the month of December, what is that I would have done and then I came up with these 3 goals and their action steps.
1. Goal # 1: Be More Present.
Action Step #1: ONE THING AT A TIME. This is in all caps because holy crap this is going to be hard for me. I’m the queen of multitasking- I once had a challenge on here well you can see where that went. Still a struggle! I’m trying so hard. It’s been December for 4 days and let’s just say I don’t feel like I’ve completely blown it yet, but I have a lot of room for improvement. One thing at a time. Book or TV, Phone or Computer, Play or Work, you get it….I’d love to hear if this as hard for others as it is for me, presumably I’m not the only nut out there. Anyone!? I just know that I’m never present to one thing if I’m doing a 100. I feel the pressure, the stress, the distraction, and I don’t like it. Hence the goal.
Action Step #2: Cell phone free time. The biggest suck in my presence is my phone. It’s glued to my hand. I find myself looking at it out of habit, logging onto facebook, checking my email, texting, WHATEVER I CAN DO. Sometimes it’s mindless, sometimes it’s for perfectly good reason but often it’s too much and a huge barrier in my presence. I’m going to try to put the phone away from 5-8. The time where I think it’s hardest to be present for me. I tend to rush through dinner to get to the holy grail that is bedtime with two toddlers. For those of you who don’t feel that way I admire you. Let’s hang out and you can teach me your ways. I’m not there.
2. Goal # 2: Be More Reflective.
Action Step #1: Write in my journal 3-4 times a week. I know. It sounds pathetic. I blog, I call myself a writer even these days. I’m a mess. I want to journal more the end. Self-reflection is a key component to my own happiness and growth and of all things that shouldn’t take a backseat.
Action Step #2: Daily and Weekly Planning sessions with mindfulness questions. Here’s the thing this doesn’t need to be complex. In the evening I do normally spend 15-20 minutes thinking about the next day. On Sundays Chris and I sit down and talk about our schedule the upcoming week. It would be really good for me to start to incorporate some more reflective questions. What went well? What didn’t go well? What felt empty? What brought most joy?
3. Goal #3: Be Kinder.
I hesitated putting this here because I don’t want you to think I’m a total jerk. I’m not a
total jerk. I promise. I could be nicer and I have an inkling that I’m not the only one. I’m looking at you guy who beeped because I was taking too long to back out of my parking spot….I will say these action steps were much harder to come up with than the others.
Action Step #1: When feeling escalated focus on breath. This is the most concrete action step I could come up with. It’s really hard because it requires a sense of self awareness to know that you’re starting to become someone you don’t desire to be. It’s hard for me to see my own escalation and one someone points it out. Well yea you can imagine how that goes. People telling me to calm down beware. I’m just saying.
Action Step #2: Ask people more questions about themselves, their needs and desires… I wish I was better at this already. I do find the more I focus on others and let go of my own selfish desires the kinder I become both to others and myself (crazy how stuff like that happens.) I also notice that the more I ask deeper questions that involve more self-reflection of others the more I’m able to ask myself the same questions.
There you have it ladies and gentleman my December goal setting process and the goals that came out of it. Now I’m basically just ready to rock this month! Here’s to a joy filled December. What is on your list of goals any similar?!