Okay this isn’t an easy post to write…I’m going to be honest here. I spend way more money than I should. You might be thinking should, what exactly is should here? I spend more than I make most of the time. Cue the groans and the confused stares, I know you still love me and I bet at least one of you out there can relate.
Here’s the thing I’ve got it all figured out (sarcasm is hard to read on the internet.) I can justify this (or think that I can) with a few stories I tell myself…more on them in a minute. But first I want to say that the most important thing that I’ve done in the past month or so is to get really honest with myself and my husband about what we desire financially, where we are financially, and how to make the two coincide *hint currently they are very DIFFERENT. The very first thing I did was to look very closely at my most troubling financial habits. This is where those stories or lies, I’ll call them myths for now, come in.
Myth # 1: It’s not a luxury if it’s not luxurious.
So this is probably my favorite lie. I use this one often and have for a very long time. I’m a fairly smart shopper- don’t get me wrong I don’t always coupon and I’m a sucker for the Target One Spot and any type of stationary or candle. I don’t have a lot of expensive things though and this for me has always been a great justifier. I’m just starting to get to a place where not only do I see the flaw in this logic ie. since I’ve never been to Barney’s it’s not a problem. I also think it may behoove me to get my shit together and buy some nicer things so I don’t have to buy new Target boots every year when the zipper breaks (don’t worry, don’t worry I will always love me some Target boots.) The truth is if I’m putting it on credit card I cannot afford it. It could cost $1.00 or $1000.00 it’s still money I don’t have. So it’s luxurious for me for now, the end.
Myth #2: As long as I pay my credit card off each month, it’s fine.
Holy crap this is a bad one. It worked for a long time (well it didn’t work but I believed it was working.) What it actually did is allow me to feel like I’m living within my means when what I was actually doing is spending my grocery money on a credit bill to cover who knows what. Yea. Not good. The thing is this keeps you cash poor and then when something comes up as it inevitably does. That couple thousand dollar credit card bill is the first thing to not be paid in full and well I think you get my drift here.
Myth #3: We’re never going to have enough for everything we need so might as well get what we can now.
Talk about negative self-talk, something I’ve really perfected in my 32 years on this Earth (another thing I’m trying to reverse.) This is an awful message that I’ve told myself for a long time. I haven’t found any voodoo way to erase this horrible money story from my brain but for now I’m silencing it. I’m just not saying it. It’s wild talk, untrue, and stupid. Yes, stupid. And the craziest part about wild talk like this is it’s only true because I say it is. That’s insane. So my stories defintiely need to get more positive and life giving around money. I will no longer be the girl who sits down with her husband to budget and says “we’re screwed we need to not spend any more money ever but first we should all get new winter coats because we need them…” Oh the issues with that sentiment are endless.
So now that I’ve gotten really brutally honest I’m making some moves. October was a good month in terms of being honest with my money and curbing the spending like whoa. Besides being really honest about my wants and hopes it has helped immensely to communicate about this with Chris. It makes sense that this isn’t my favorite thing to do since I don’t even like to talk to myself about money but I’m starting to see that I have so many choices and in the end I’m creating my money situation, I’m the only one in charge of it, and I am not going to take that lightly. In some upcoming posts I’m going to share with you more about our family’s journey, what I’m doing to pay off debt, curb spending, and save more money. If there’s anything in particular you’d like to know comment below! Can’t wait to share more.