Sometimes you just gotta “make yourself a dang quesadilla.” My standards may seem quite low with this title though my Napoleon Dynamite reference is on point, if I must say so myself. Plus the picture is 1/2 decent and let me tell you it was a DELISH quesadilla.
The thing is I stumble with all the pressure I put on myself and then feeling like I didn’t accomplish enough in any given moment or day. I set my sights super high. I wake up in the morning with all of this weight on my shoulders. I need to do this, I want to do this, I should do this, I think this person needs me to do this, and on and on and on. It’s exhausting. I’m trying so hard to let go of some of these really difficult expectations I have on myself. I’m trying to chill out more and to set my sights a little lower. I don’t mean to say I want to lower my standards or give up, I just mean that the pressure is so hard sometimes. It doesn’t serve me well.
I think I’ve been feeling that way for a while and have slowly begun to realize that if it doesn’t serve me. Meaning if it doesn’t make me happier, healthier, more connected then I’m done with it- whatever it may be. Life is far too short, too hard, and way too precious for me to be walking around with that crap.
My husband has been gone for 16 of the last 20 days and yes I know it could be worse and yes I know that I’m very lucky to have a husband who does so much (besides just adding humor and joy to our days) that his presences his SORELY MISSED. But I’m just saying it has been a long freaking time. I am spent and so are my kids. We’re sick of each other. Today I lost it more than I cared to, I’d been hanging in there so well. I started to feel judged (mostly by myself), stressed, exhausted, and my to do list has just been growing and growing. So I decided today I was going to make myself a dang quesadilla (by the way I really hope you are pronouncing it incorrectly every time you read it- with a hard l like the move :)) And then I was going to let my oldest watch too many episodes of Peppa Pig and sit with him while my youngest napped. I decided that was okay and enough. No judgement. No pressure.
Just a quesadilla. I hope you can give yourself that kind of permission when you need it. We are all far to hard on ourselves.