I cannot believe I did it again. I am totally guilty. I looked to another expert or someone I thought was an expert. I do it all the time. And then after I’m left wondering why?!!?!?!
What is this “thing” that I do that is so bad? Listening to the advice of others and ignoring my own gut or voice. Following some advice instead of following what I felt was right. And EVERY SINGLE time without fail, I’m left thinking -crap, why did I do that?! I knew the right answer all along. I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about this as I really take a giant leap and leave my full time job next Thursday. As I prepare for what is to come as a full-time entrepreneur there are a ton of amazing, incredible, wise individuals who have gone before me who I turn to when I’m stuck. That in itself is not a bad thing.
So I wanted to share 3 tips that I have started using to help me to avoid only turning outward, never looking inward, and ignoring my own voice! If you’re anything like me this is not easy! I love reading what the experts have to say. I love hearing others thoughts and opinions but have you ever been in a situation where you feel like you turn to others for these things and your ideas, your thoughts are almost muted and lost amidst all that noise?! That is a terrible way to feel.
1. Be Patient. I talked a little about this here. The gist is that patience doesn’t come super naturally to me. Sometimes I want to rush to the next stage, move into the next part of my plan. So I may rush where I am now and look outward for quick fixes and people who have already been there and can tell me how to do it FASTER. And don’t get me wrong I’m not advocating for ignoring the generous wisdom that mentors or really awesome people have to share. Especially if it’s a time saving technique. No, that’s not at all what I’m saying. I do think, however, that sometimes we are more of the expert than we think.We are certainly the expert when it comes to us and our own unique life situation. I also think that sometimes things take time. You cannot become what years will make you today. You just can’t. So patience is big here.
2. Allow individuality. So 989 people before you have ventured down whatever road it is your exploring. They’ve started a business, they’ve followed a dream, they’ve planned a wedding. That’s great – good for them. But here’s the thing they’ve never been you following your dream or you writing your book or you planning your wedding. So while they may have amazing tips, great feedback, and some serious wisdom they aren’t you and that’s a good thing.
3.Narrow it down. Okay so as I mentioned before there are lots of really awesome experts or people whom we love and adore and look up to who can teach us A TON. And reinventing the wheel isn’t always necessary and can totally waste time, but I’ve found that if I ask for too much feedback, or if I read too many articles, or seek out too many opinions, then I become more and more confused and less trusting of my own voice. Plus while I may love and adore my great Aunt Hilda,who doesn’t own a computer, and I always want to listen to her advice, she’s probably not who I should ask about my upcoming website launch (ahhhhhh, man I’m getting excited to see the finish product!) So I’ve learned to narrow it down. Pick one or two trusted individuals whose feedback could be meaningful in the specific area you’re seeking insight on. Let these voices be heard but then be clear with them and with yourself that that’s INFORMATION it’s not the rule book. You still need to do it your way, make it your own, and sometimes we need to go directly against the advice we’ve been given because our hearts pulling us elsewhere.
How do you make sure you listen to yourself in times of big decisions? We’d love you to hear your experiences in the comments!